Management & 1-on-1s
Managing a Former Peer or Friend Who is Underperforming
Transitioning from peer to manager is fraught with awkwardness. How to separate friendship from accountability without losing personal connection.
Amit KasliwalCEO & Founder, Dehurdle
August 19, 20261 min read
The Friction
When you are promoted above your peers, friends expect special leniency. Tolerating subpar work from a friend breeds resentment across the rest of the team.
The 'Two Hats' Alignment Script
Address the dynamic explicitly at the start of your 1-on-1:
Recommended script
"Mark, I value our personal friendship tremendously, and that hasn't changed. But in this room, my responsibility to the team is to ensure our sprint deliverables hit standard. Right now, your PR review turnaround time is averaging 4 days, which is blocking the frontend team. Let's look at what is causing the bottleneck and get that back to our 24-hour baseline."
The 2-Minute Practice Drill
2-Minute Spoken Practice
The 2-Minute Practice Drill
Practice setting boundaries with a friendly direct report in a Dehurdle simulation.
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